Johnny asked, “Grandpa, can I have a beer?
Grandpa replied “Can your pecker touch you’re ass?
Johnny answered, “No Grandpa, It’s just a little pecker!”
Grandpa said, Then you’re not man enough to have a beer.

A little later Grandpa lit up a cigar.
Johnny asked, “Grandpa, can I have a cigar?”
Once again, Grandpa asked, “Can your pecker touch you’re ass?”
Johnny answered “no,” again.
Grandpa said, “Then your not man enough to have a cigar.”

A little later, Johnny came out of the house with some cookies and milk.
Grandpa asked, “Can I have a cookie?”
The boy asked, “Can your pecker touch you’re ass?”
Grandpa replied, Hell yeah, my pecker can touch my ass!”

Little Johnny replied, Then go fuck yourself! Grandma made these for me.”